After a long, sweaty, tiring journey back to Kerewan, I finally arrived at my door, desperately in need of a wash and a big glass of water. Now I know I will never be a contender for the world's tidiest house competition but even I was shocked at the sight that greeted me as I entered. The contents of my bin had been scattered haphazardly around my room, in my chest of drawers and under the bed. There was a funny smell and as I looked closer I realised that whatever had made the mess had also been kind enough to leave little 'presents' all over the place. How nice. I was too tired to do much at first so I wandered into my bedroom to put my clothes away. As I opened a drawer, there was a quick shuffle and I saw something dart further into the drawer taking yet more contents of my bin with it. I felt like I had been transported into a Tom and Jerry cartoon as I found myself screaming from the top of the nearest chair. I was not expecting myself to react in this way and therefore stood frozen on the chair for a few minutes while I gathered my thoughts. I eventually came to the conclusion that I was in fact a lot bigger than the creature inside my drawer and consequently was being a bit of a wimp. I jumped down decisively and began to take out the drawers, one by one, to clean. It was during this cleaning mission that I discovered Paul's tube of Orabase. It is apparently the best at getting rid of mouth ulcers so I borrowed it, even though it was his last tube from England and could not be bought out here. I was paranoid that I was going to lose it so had left it on the top of my desk. It was now in the bottom drawer. Devoured. This was bad enough until I realised, after a little internet research on my phone, that not only was it the best stuff ever created but it was now the best stuff ever created to be discontinued in the UK, America, Canada and Australia since August 2009 and was consequently the topic of many forums causing worldwide outrage... Bo*****s! Not in the best of moods I dumped my stuff and decided to just go to bed. Maybe it will not seem so bad when I wake up in the morning. Unfortunately I didn't wake up with this realisation because I never went to sleep. One metre from my bed was the most frustrating scratching sound coming from inside my chest of drawers. I could just about cope with the noise while the fan was still on but when the electricity went off at 2am, the combination of the heat and the noise began to blur the edges of reality slightly. In an attempt to make the noise seem less threatening, I began to imagine a little mouse in a blue baseball cap (not sure why he had a cap??) making a house out of the wood shavings he was oh so carefully gathering from the drawer. This calmed me for about 20 minutes and then I came to my senses. My next strategy was one of attack. Shoes, flip flops, bags and anything else lying near my bed went hurtling in a mad frenzy towards the chest of drawers. This silenced him for about a minute and then he would continue. When light finally came and sanity had returned, I decided to open all the drawers and deal with this once and for all! Many frightened rat leaps and involuntary screams later; I finally managed to get him out of the chest of drawers, only to discover that his latest meal had been my clothes. I then spent the whole day cleaning and was quite pleased with myself at the end of the day. The house was looking fab and there had been no sign of the rat (or Percy as I had recently named him). Maybe I had scared him off. Night came and I heard a little commotion in the kitchen but not in my bedroom so I slept a bit better. The evening of the next day, while innocently making a cup of tea, Percy jumped out of my cooking drawer. That was it! As much as it pains a feminist like myself to admit, I could no longer cope with this on my own... I needed a man. I called my landlord in a panic and he rushed back from work to charge around my house with a torch. I had tried to use my humane trap, had tried to talk sense into the rat (lack of sleep can do that to you) but enough was enough. For someone who finds it hard to kill a mosquito without a bucket load of guilt it was a huge step for me to agree that the time had come to use the trap. My landlord set it up and just as he had said goodnight and closed my door I heard the sound that filled my heart with dread and hope all at the same time. SNAP! A bit of scuffling. Then silence. Beautiful silence. He looked so peaceful when we picked him up that... 1. I am convinced he has gone to rat heaven where there is plenty of precious Orabase to eat. (this thought helps me to sleep at night... oh and the lack of scratching noises doesn't do a bad job either) 2. I was compelled to take a photo and now I can share it with you. Bless you Percy wherever you are... |
